Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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