Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
