You just made me feel so damn special
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
my mouth tastes like poor choices
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
