There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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