Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
