Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
