you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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