marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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