Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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