garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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