Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
