So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
