Say something about gay babies.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
