thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Randomize