i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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