You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
