I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize