she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
