i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
