I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
