It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
