These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
