It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
it's great music for shaving your balls
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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