she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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