and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
you made out with another girl for some wings
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
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