i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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