its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
