you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Randomize