epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
