I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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