somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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