Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
