ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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