I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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