Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
We need to rekindle our bromance
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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