if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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