thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
