that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
