yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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