I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
