Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize
