Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Randomize
