The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
