Your tits are I can't wait for
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
