I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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