hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
