Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
