I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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