so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
ugly people sure do ruin things
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Randomize
