I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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