you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
