I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
There are leaves in my underwear?
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