how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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