She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
