come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
