i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
