Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
