we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I just blew my weed a kiss
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
