My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
