she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
